I think the easiest way to think about Whitman's concept of love is to say that poetry and love are the same thing. In "Song of Myself," the poem opens with Whitman's assertion that he and the reader are the same -- "every atom of me as good belongs to you." This line suggests a radical reinvention of poetry. If poet and reader are the same, then the poem becomes a place where poet and reader can meet (and embrace!). The poem in a sense becomes the expression of love, and the place where love occurs.
Whitman of course is not afraid of talking about sex and the body. But his notion of love both includes and transcends those things. "Love" finds expression in the political (SofM as a celebration of democracy and America) and the homoerotic (SofM as an assertion of gay desire) and the ontological (SofM as celebration of the here and now, or existence). But mostly, love is a spiritual force that binds the universe together, made visible in poetry, but which can be felt by everyone, everywhere, all the time. It If this sounds like a religious idea, you are not mistaken. Ultimately, Whitman's idea of of love, which is universal and all-encompassing, is the love of God for his creation.
See also:
Navarro, Santiago Juan. “BEYOND THE MYTH OF NARCISSUS: THE ROLE OF THE READER IN WALT WHITMAN'S «SONG OF MYSELF»”. Atlantis 12.1 (1990): 109–114.
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