Jonas learns about family and love in Chapter 16 after receiving a memory about Christmas. He witnesses a family with parents, children and grandparents giving gifts to each other and he feels the warmth of love. After the memory, the Giver clarifies what Jonas learns from the memory, which makes the boy wonder about his own family. Later that night, back at his dwelling with his family unit, Jonas asks his parents, "Do you love me?" (127). After an awkward silence, Jonas's father laughs and then asks him to remember to use precise language. Jonas does not laugh and asks him to clarify. Mother steps in and says the following:
"Your father means that you used a very generalized word, so meaningless that it's become almost obsolete" (127).
Jonas is a little surprised that his mother would use the word "meaningless" to describe a word that is associated with one of the most meaningful memories that he has ever had. His mother continues to say that in order for the community to function properly, they need to use precise language. Then she proceeds to tell him another way to say the phrase, such as, "Do you enjoy me?"
Based on his parents' reaction to the word "love," Jonas realizes that he is on a different level of understanding than they are. Mother asks him if he understands what she is teaching him, but he responds by telling his first lie, "Yes, thank you, I do" (127).
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